Coffee Shop Manifesto

Do you love laughing at all of the hipster stereotypes? Then Portlandia is the show for you. Seriously. It's hilarious. Especially on a rainy Saturday afternoon. You start watching it and then all of a sudden, 4 hours have passed and you don't know what you've done with your day. But it's worth it. Trust me. 

One of my favorite sketches is the Coffee Shop Manifesto. The baristas of Portland gather to write a code to protect their noble profession. Some of the rules for patrons include: no talking at the counter, no cell phones, no bathroom before you order and no asking questions about the menu. 

I frequent a lot of coffee shops. So I thought, would would I add to that list?

1. Stop uttering "small, medium, large" Unless you say you would like to biggie size your latte. Because that is completely acceptable. 

2. Please, let's play Iron & Wine, The Civil Wars and The Avett Brothers on repeat all day every day. (That is only slightly sarcastic because I wouldn't completely hate that playlist.)

3. A latte isn't complete without a barista's signature artwork. Without it, how am I supposed to Instagram each and every one of my drinks?

4. Never do away with the bottomless cup of coffee. There are some of us who are too cheap to pay for Internet and still others who are attempting to write the next great American novel and need a place to set up shop. 

5. If your menu is 2/3 flavored lattes, you're doing it wrong. I'm all about giving the people what they want, but try and make some black coffee and espresso converts out of them.

6. Every coffee shop must have at least one old comfy couch that looks like it was salvaged off the side of the road. Bonus points if you actually did pick it up on the side of the road.